Can You Reserve A Flight Without Committing To It Would You Go On A Trip That You Already Paid For, But Didn't Want To Go On ?

Would you go on a trip that you already paid for, but didn't want to go on ? - can you reserve a flight without committing to it

I paid $ 1200.00 for a trip to Reno, including flights, car rentals and hotels. I want someone they met on the 4 days from my birthday to meet at the weekend, but we are not talking and I'm sitting in a hotel room just for my birthday and I do not want to go really. I pull my birthday with friends and family and have to spend a good time. if I go to Reno and stay at the hotel-casino that I am, I probably end up losing all the money posted in the casino. I assured the trip, but I can not my money, without medical reason. I have an appointment tomorrow is my doctor, PCP, because I was diagnosed with vertigo and migraines that can last week. I thought to eat only the cost of the package rather than donorDing an additional $ 500.00 if I am not an excuse not to go. I know it was stupid commit to someone I meet online meet learned. I feel like an idiot, so you do not need to see me who I am.